President Trump Visits Mall Santa to Make an Impeachment Wish

Updated : Jan 13, 2020 in Articles

President Trump Visits Mall Santa to Make an Impeachment Wish


[ Bells jingling ]
♪♪ -All right, who wants to meet
Santa Claus? -Me!
-Me! -All right.
Right this — -Move, move, move
out of the way. I want to meet Santa.
Look at you guys. Thank you. [ Cheers and applause ] Look at you guys. Look at you guys.
Very small. Sad. [ Laughter ] Here, hold my Mango-A-Go-Go.
Take my pretzel. -[ Laughs ]
-Santa, hello. -Is that you, Mr. President?
-Of course it is. Look, I don’t have much time. I ditched Eric and Don Jr.
at the Disney Store. Won’t be long until they realize the Thor beanbag chair I left
them on isn’t their real dad. [ Laughter ] -So you came to the mall
just to see Santa? -That’s right. Tomorrow’s
the big impeachment vote. And people are saying that
all I can do is pray. But why pray when I can come
straight to you, Jesus’ dad? -Oh, I’m not — I’m not. No.
[ Laughter ] -Besides, I love malls,
I really do. The sights, the sounds,
the Szechuan samples. [ Laughter ] But even here, I can’t escape
the Democrats. They’re very mean, Santa.
They’re very mean. They’re very nasty.
-Mm. [ Laughter ]
They’re very nasty. They’re very nasty people.
-Nasty, yes. -They do nasty things. They want to impeach me
just like Clinton and Nixon and Prancer and Vixen.
[ Laughter ] But that would be
very humiliating, and the only person who can
humiliate me is me. -Well, that is not true.
-Thank you, Santa. Thank you. Lucky for me, there’s one
thing I believe in, and that’s the Christmas spirit. So if this whole thing
goes kablooey, I have a few Christmas wishes
I want to make. Here, I wrote them down. [ Laughter ]
-Oh… -Now don’t worry, I’m not going
to ask for dirt on Biden. I learned my lesson.
You can’t — You can’t ask a foreign leader
for help, and you, of course,
are the president of Alaska. -Uh, incorrect, incorrect.
-So my first wish — and we all knew
this was coming — we have to do something about
Nancy Pelosi. I mean, she’s being
a real Omarosa Scrooge. And — I’m not asking you to do
anything to Nancy, but you ever heard the song, “Grandma Got Run Over
by a Reindeer”? [ Laughter ]
-[ Mutters ] -Just think about it.
Just think about it. Doesn’t have to be a reindeer,
but… Could be a golf cart.
[ Laughter ] I’m not micromanaging.
-Oh, boy. Okay — -So that was my first wish.
And I get three, right? Are we playing by Aladdin rules?
-No, not exactly. But you can ask for gifts
for your friends. -Great. Any tips on
what to get a Russian dictator who has everything?
[ Laughter ] I’m pretty sure he’s buying me
another election, so I want to
get him something good. -Well —
[ Laughter ] -Oh, I have this one friend — let’s call him Rudy the
Brown-Nosed Reindeer. [ Laughter ] He’s trying to save himself
from going to — let’s call it prison. -So your Christmas wish
is that he ends up okay. How nice.
-No, no, I’ll just get him a Peloton.
[ Laughter ] Oh, look.
If I’m being honest, Santa, this impeachment thing is really
scaring me — like Melania’s
Christmas decorations. Or stairs. [ Laughter ] I just hope it all works out
in the end. -Well, Donald,
if you do get impeached, it’s still up to the Senate
to remove you, you know. -It is?
And that will never happen. Because the Senate is run by
my elves, the Republicans. And that is the greatest
gift of all. Thank you, Santa.
My Christmas wish came true. And oh, yeah, “The Tonight Show”
starts right now. Come on. Let’s do this!
-Whoo! ♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ] -From 30 Rockefeller Plaza
right here in New York City, it’s “The Tonight Show
Starring Jimmy Fallon.” ♪♪ And now, here he is, Jimmy Fallon! [ Cheers and applause ]
-♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ -♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ -♪ Hey, hey, hey, he-ey ♪ -Give it up! Ah! The Roots!
Nice to see you! Hi! -♪ Hey ♪

100 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *