Good morning from Bangkok, Thailand. Yer man is as hungry as he is hot right now, so let’s go find somewhere with air conditioning and good food. Well here I am, at ICONSIAM. Some fancy mall full of designer shops. If you look around here, Christian Dior, Christian Louboutin, some Versace, Boss, Michael Kors. Really don’t give a damn about any of these. What I’m really interested in, in this mall is downstairs, on the basement floor there are all kinds of delicacies. And that’s what I’ve come to sample. Some tasty treats. Oh, she looks really interested in the massage, doesn’t she? She’s like talking to her mate, talking to her pal, while giving a half-arsed massage to that bloke. Right, let’s see what’s going on here. Some, Chinese dumplings there. Maybe I’ll sample some of her dim sum. Hi, what’s inside? This pork or shrimp? Pork. Pork? Ah, okay. It’s 50 for 10? That’s a lot. Okay, I’m gonna try. Ah, okay. This one soy? Ah sauce, ah mix. What is this? This fish or something? This one. You know what this one is? Garlic. Garlic? Ah, okay, good. Okay, little bit of garlic. Lovely. Right, I dunno how I’m gonna eat this and vlog at the same time. I kinda need two hands to do this. So, I’ll either find somewhere to put the camera, or just eat it off camera. Oh god, stop crying. I hate the sound of babies crying, that’s why I’ve never had one of my own. Right, would it be cheeky if I just put my camera down there? Don’t see anybody around. Might be a little bit cheeky. I’m gonna do it anyway. Okay, am I in shot? As I try this pork dim sum. Very nice. And to be honest that’s like half a meal there for 50 baht. Cant really complain about that, can you? Well. half a meal for somebody. Not half a meal for me. Oh, very nice. Ah, I tell you what, it beats the ones out of 7-Eleven, that’s for sure. I’ve never ate this with the crispy garlic topping before. First time. As you can see, it kinda it kinda sticks to it. And then it gives it a little bit of a crunch, a little bit extra texture and flavour, as you eat it. Very nice. Very nice indeed. Lovely. Mmm, mmm, mmm. Right, let’s see what more delicacies are on offer. What do we have here? Oh this sample? What is this, chicken? Pork. This pork?
Yeah. Deep fried pork, pork belly with fish sauce. Oh wow. Pork skin. Is this, eh? Sweet. Sweet, spicy. This one sweet, this one spicy, oh? I like sweet. I always like sweet. Let’s try it. Oh, very nice pork. Mmm, very nice. Okay, Spicy Chicken Salad. Again, I’m going for the sweet. Okay. Go for the sweet. Always go for the sweet. Oh, that’s nice. It’s 20 baht for what? For one stick with three on it? Okay, I take one please. Yeah, thank you.
One? Ah, that pork’s nice. I just don’t think I can eat a whole one just now. I wanna like save some room for trying other stuff. That’s about a decent portion size when you’re trying a lot of different things actually. Those dumplings, 10 of them, it was a bit too much. Okay. This for you and this for me. Okay. Thank you. Okay, I’ll eat without the sauce. Thanks. Okay. Look at this, here and here. Two beautiful elephants. Surrounded by beautiful food. I’ve seen something in there, that I might actually want for dessert. There’s all sorts of puddings. One with taro. One with black sticky rice. Looks very nice. This is an idea for dessert but for now, I’m looking for more savoury food. So I’m gonna march on. Mango sticky rice. Keep seeing stuff that I want to eat but it’s all sweet stuff. That’s me though. Gonna force myself to stick to the savoury stuff for now, before moving on to the sweet stuff. And this bloke not content with just the elephant pants. He’s gone full on elephant. Hasn’t he? Look at the bloody state of this. Ridiculous. What do we have here? Different meats and fish concoctions on sticks. What looks good? What looks less processed? Those chicken. Hmm. These look decent. Sausage with bacon wrapped round them. Do I just grab them and hand them to the auntie? I guess I do. Let’s grab this. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho. Doesn’t that look nice? Hello. Some sausage and bacon please. It’s getting grilled over there. Ah, no thank you. I don’t like that sauce. Now it’s getting grilled up. Okay. I guess, it was already cooked. It just needed warmed up. In fact I’ll take a wee seat here. I think that’s alright. More elephant pants. This is a tourist hot-spot I reckon. Right, well this, delicious. Well better than the ones they serve in 7-Eleven. Which, actually they do have, right here in the mall. A bloody 7-Eleven. As if you want to go and get food out of there, when you have all these delicacies right here. I don’t understand that at all. Anyway, more exploring. Anything that I fancy here? Hmm. Oh, all these things look like proper full on meals. I just want wee portions. This is just too much. Okay, I’ll take a video of this guy taking a photo of that woman. This is a good photo, isn’t it. There you go. What do we have here? This looks good. It’s just gonna be too big of a portion. Sorry I’m getting in the way. Photobombing this guy. Sorry. This does look good. Hello. This big or small? Big or small? Middle? Ah, okay. Okay. Big? This big? Oh. I only, you can make small one for me, or no? This, yeah. You can make small one? Small one for me, you can make? Big.
Big? But you can make it small, right? Make a small one. No? No? No? Okay. Never mind. Okay. I guess that’s too difficult for them to do. To just take the normal portion size and just split it in half and give me half the size for half the price. Even a wee bit more than half the price. I wouldn’t mind. I just don’t want to waste food. I could easily just buy the full thing. Oh look, more, more friends. [laughter] Elephant pants. Eh, yeah, I could easily buy the full thing and throw half of it away but I just hate wasting food and I’m not gonna do that. Where have I ended up? In some bloody shop. Full of bloody tourist nicnacs and stuff. I have. I’ve ended up in a bloody. I’m on a wee food tour and I’ve ended up in a bloody gift shop. Somehow. It’s those elephant pants. They distracted me. [laughter] Right. Oh, yes. More desserts. My mind is going towards desserts. I think I should be trying more savoury stuff first. What are all in these wee parcels? Boiled rice with pork, fish, prawns, squid. So it’s basically boiled rice and just your usual meat and seafood. Okay, she ignores me standing in front of it but come running, comes running when the Thai person stands next to her food. She can see that I’m a time waster. Where am I going? I’m going back into this bloody gift shop again. Right, no. No Dale, no. Mind focused. Oh no. I’m getting distracted again. I’m getting distracted again because of because of bloody elephant pants. Hate them. Hate them with a passion. They’re disgusting. Right. Egg noodles. Oh see, these bowls look kinda, kinda small. Kinda small portions. Maybe, maybe. I’ll think about it. These, what are these? Chive dumplings. Hmm, interesting. Hello. There’s no meat in these, right? Just like herbs and stuff. I’m looking for small stuff because I want to try loads of different things. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
Yeah. A lot of these places, they’re just selling big bowls. Yeah. And I asked the lady, can you give me like half a portion? She’s like no, no, no.
Why, why, why? Why? [laughter] Because I don’t want to buy the full portion and then just through half of it away, because I hate wasting food. So are you gonna tell me which one’s good or what? Yeah, I like the chives. You got a mixture of all of them? Erm, we got the veggie ones. The veggie ones, yeah? Oh here. Here we go. Oh, I like taro, so that’ll be nice. Oh is this the taro one, the blue, purplish one? Okay, it’s 4 for 50. Which one, which one you thinks good? Chives. Chives? Huh. Which one’s chives? This, is chives? Yes. Ah. Oh and these are like small ones. You can get 10 for 50. Ah this are chives and these are taro. And this shrimp? Yes. Okay. Ah, give me 4 Taro and 4 Chives and 2 Shrimp please. 50 baht. In my mind, every time something is 50 baht I’m thinking it’s £1 British but nowadays it’s more like, like £1.25 or something. I need three hands. It would be more easy for me. [laughter] Okay. Okay, I still need three hands to try and eat this. Because one to hold it and one for the stick. I’m gonna do what I did with the first lot of food. Find somewhere to put the camera down. Somewhere cheeky. Some guy’s stall. Or some restaurant’s table and then sample my food on camera. Okay, first up, the chives. That’s disgusting. Urgh. I don’t know what that girl was talking about. Those chives ones are horrible. Urgh. Okay. What else do we have. Shrimp. Hopefully the shrimp ones are better. Ah. Scared this girl off. She found this wee quiet spot to sit and eat her food and some Scotsman comes, vlogging, right next to her. Oh well. And the other one, taro. I’m hoping this one’s sweet. I think this is the taro. Don’t want to eat one of those bloody chives ones again. They’re going straight in that bin. Right, taro, let’s try it. Covered in soy sauce. Taro, usually sweet. Don’t think it goes with the soy sauce but she just poured it over everything without asking me. Nah. In fact the lot of this is just going in the bin. I said I don’t like to waste food but if the food’s disgusting then it might as well go in the bin, so. Zero out of 10 for me. Horrible. Absolutely disgusting. Right. Maybe it is time to go onto the desserts. Or should we get one more savoury thing? I dunno. Let’s see. Dunno what any of this is. Can’t read Thai. That’s the problem. It all looks overly processed, kinda, kinda stuff. Not really into anything like that. Some Phad Thai there. Wee shrimps. What’s over here? Huh. 100 grams, 25 baht. Can Combine Everything. So eh, looks like olives, mango. You can mix the fruits. You can mix everything by yourself. Sour or salty or? Seems strange to eat these together, right? Does it seem strange to you to eat like there’s like like grapes with like olives and To me that seems strange. I would eat like only sweet or only like sour or only, you know. But it’s good if you taste. Really? Yeah. You like this? Huh. Thai people like. I dunno if I should try or not. I’m thinking about it. You can try, the simple one should be this one. Oh so this is eh, green mango, right? Alright, this crunchy one? Yeah. Ah, okay then. They preserve and mix with a salt and. Oh, everything’s preserved? None of this is fresh? Oh, this one is just the fresh ahh, okay. Maybe I should just eat that on its own. That’s with some spice on it or that’s, eh? They put the spice. They put the salt. Sugar and chili. And chili? Oh, salt, sugar and chili? Yeah. Okay, I’m gonna give this one a go. Ask them, ask them if they have free sample. Oh yeah, maybe I can. Yeah, and then. If you don’t like it. Yeah, good idea. Because I should have done that at the last place. I ate some dumplings. They were horrible. And then I buy 10 of them. I have to throw away. And I don’t like to waste food, because it’s bad, yeah? But it tastes bad so I have to put in the garbage. Yeah. It is not your favourite. Yeah. I will ask them for sample. Yeah, good idea. I should do this every time. Right? It depends on what kind of food. Yeah. Maybe dumpling too costly, they don’t. Oh yeah, because they not going to give me one whole dumpling. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. See you. Next time bargain with them. Bargain with them? No, bargain say “I don’t want 10”. “Just give me two. Just trying.” Oh, yeah. I tried before, right. So this woman, she’s selling this big bowl of stew or something for 100. I say “This too much”. “I’m going around trying different things.” Yeah. “Can you give me like half a bowl for 50?” And she asking the other staff and “no, no, no, no.” Why? Just pour half in and. Because after that you won’t be able to eat anything. Yeah, exactly. And this kind of environment’s made for like walking around and trying different things, right? I’m not gonna eat one huge meal at one place, yeah? But they don’t want to. Yeah, this one didn’t want to do it. Okay. Okay, thank you very much. Bye bye. Okay. Hello. I want to try this one. Can I try? No try? Really? What if I don’t like it? What if I buy a lot and I don’t like it? What is the minimum? 100 grams? I can buy 100 grams. That’s 25 baht, right? Yes. Okay, I want 100 grams this. You can choose. Ah, only this. Can you help me because I only have one hand. This my camera hand and this my only free hand. And this needs two hands. One for hold the bag. In fact if you hold the bag, I will put in. Okay. Speak slowly. You understand what I’m saying, uh? I speak slowly, like this. Okay. This 100 grams? Yeah. Okay. Okay, eh, what is this? Sauce. Sauce chili. Oh so this is the one that’s like sugar and salt and chili? Ah okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, thank you. I hope I will like it. Okay, bye bye. Okay. I’ve tried this unripe mango the first time I came to Thailand and I thought “I’m just eating an unripe mango.” “I’d rather eat the fresh, sugary, delicious one.” And I never tried it again and that was like 9 years ago or something, so this is the first time I’m trying it since. Let’s see if my taste buds have changed. Ho ho ho. Well. If I was to describe the taste to you I would tell you that it tastes like and unripe mango with salt, sugar and chili on it. Which is exactly what it is. Doesn’t taste bad like I remember it tasting, but I’d rather just have a fresh mango to be honest with you. I’m not that great with chili. Right, I think it’s onto the sweet foods now. In fact, this would go down a treat. I think. Is she just selling the oranges? Oh, it’s orange juice. That’s what I thought and hoped it was. Fresh orange juice. With these Thai oranges. The green ones. It’s a really strong concentrated flavour. It’s very different to the types of oranges we’d get in the UK. This green orange. Give me 20 too. Oh yeah. Good idea. Yeah, me from, me from Scotland. You know Scotland? I know, um, Edinburgh. You know Edinburgh? This my city. You know my city. Your city? Yeah, this my city. I’m from Edinburgh. This, big castle in the city. This the beautiful city of Scotland. Very beautiful. I watch on the TV. You watch it on the TV? And what else you know about Scotland? You know about whisky, right? Yeah, I don’t drink. You don’t drink whisky? Scotland famous for.
I am Muslim. You are Muslim? Oh, you cannot drink? That is haram, haram for you. Haram, yeah. But, you also know golf? Yes. This sport is made in Scotland. Invented in Scotland, golf. Golf. Yeah, we made golf. We have the best golf courses. Oh yes. It’s also what we are famous for. Ah, maybe I can tell you something else about Scotland. You know the tennis player Andy Murray? Andin Murray, yes. But he didn’t won this match. Yeah, but before he was good. Before he got injuries. But he, he from Scotland. Yes I know.
You know, yeah? Okay, good. I want to tell you something you don’t know. So I tell you one extra thing. Ah, do you know, ah. What is the capital of Scotland? Ah, you know. You can guess. Umm. Glasgow. No, it’s Edinburgh. Yes. Okay, I taught you something. It’s not, it’s not Glasgow? Glasgow is bigger but Edinburgh is the capital. Really? Yeah the local Scottish government is in Edinburgh and this the main city, yeah. Okay. On my opinion it is Glasgow is the capital. Oh yes, some people think this. Americans, Americans think this. Because it’s the biggest one. They think the biggest one will be the capital. But no, it’s eh. Because they have Glasgow Rangers and Celtic. This my team, Rangers. Which one you like? But Edinburgh don’t have a big name of football. Yeah, hearts and hibs. Yeah, they are like 3 and, yeah. Which one you like? Rangers or Celtic? For me it’s Celtics. Thai people always say Celtic because they like the team that is winning at the time, right? Maybe before. Yeah, like this. Maybe if I came like 20 years ago everyone is saying Rangers. Yeah, because always Rangers, Rangers before, so. This yours or mine? It’s my one, right? Or no? No, no, no. What you give me? 100? I think I gave. Hundred. Okay, no, no, I give this. You can keep. No, I give. I forget. It’s small money for you. I forget. Very small if you can compare to pounds. Not now. You know in, eh. No, in pounds, the value going down, down, down. Before, five years ago, 1 pound, 56 baht. And now 1 pound, 38 baht. Really? Yeah, it’s going down a lot. From 56 to 38. Maybe 30% down or more. Yeah, because of the Brexit.
Brexit. And also Thai economy is going up, up, up. Thai economy is strong. Thai baht is strong. The tourist from the UK, they finding it more expensive in Thailand. Before they are saying Thailand cheap to go to. Now they are saying this, same like going to some places in Europe like Spain or something like that. Same, like same cost for hotel and things like this, you know? Well the orange juice is nice but pretty overpriced. I mean, the exact same orange juice, because it is literally just orange squeezed from those oranges. The exact same on the street outside in some random street is like 20 or 30 baht, so like 3 times the price. Right, well now I am in a sweet mood. So I’m gonna go looking for, uh, oh. Uh, oh. Elephant alert. Sorry. Okay. I’m on the hunt, navigating my way through these locals, through these tourists to some sweet food. I see the mango sticky rice there. Maybe that’s just a bit too stereotypical in Thailand. Eating Mango Sticky Rice for pretty much every dessert. Maybe I should try something else. Something, where was that one before, that I seen. Those little, little puddings they were. I think over here somewhere. Gonna go have a wee look as I just navigate my way, navigate my way through the crowds. Bloody elephant pants. Oh, god, right. Focus Dale, focus. You’re looking for sweet food, sweet food. See, when I first came in here I could see nothing but sweet food. Now I can’t see any of it. Oh, what do we have here? That looks like it might be coconut ice cream. It looks like the container for it. I don’t see what they are selling. Oh no, that’s not. What is it they’re selling? Some kind of pancake. Noisy people. Oh looks like there’s a line. Is this the queue for it? Think it’s a queue or they just loitering? Think they’re just loitering. Right. No sign or anything. Lets have a look at what they’re getting. No, that’s not a sweet. He’s putting something savoury on that. Right, like I say, came in here, seen nothing but sweet food and now all I’m seeing is like, corn on the cob, dried fish, pork scratchings or whatever the heck that is. Okay, still searching for sweet stuff. I’m seeing like crisps and dried bananas and bloody mackerel and all sorts of stuff. And then am I going into a gift shop again? Oh my god. Get me out of here. Sweets. Has anybody got sweets? Take me to the sweets. Okay, we’re getting closer. There’s some dried fruit there. I think this is getting closer in the direction of sweet stuff. Here we go. This looks good. This is taro. Are these the toppings? Hello. Can I buy one? Buy one, twenty for one. Twenty for one? 4 for 60, 20 for 1. Okay. Can you tell me what is on this? Eh, butterfly pea. Oh, butterfly pea flower. I know this butterfly pea, yeah. And what is underneath? Coconut milk. Coconut milk? Oh, nice. Okay, I try one of this. Thanks. Okay, looks messy. Okay. Again, I need to find somewhere to put the camera down. In fact, I’ll just use this wee space here. Hopefully they don’t mind. Let’s give this a try. Standing right in everybody’s way. Oh hooo. That’s superb. I tell you what, I reckon that’s the best thing I’ve tried here. Oh, lovely. That’s really nice. It’s like this sticky, this sticky coconut milk I guess that’s been thickened with some kind of flour. And then it’s like a butterfly pea extract. I guess. Which is making it blue. And then some bean on top. Lovely jubbly. Ah, okay, I do the coconut smoothie. Okay. Okay, yeah. Well I reckon this is what I’m gonna finish off on. A wee coconut smoothie, to finish up the wee tour of delicacies of ICONSIAM. So it looks like we’re getting a coconut water, some eh. Milk? Milk? Condensed milk? Okay, yes, little bit is good. Oh very nice. So we’re getting a coconut water, some shavings of coconut, condensed milk and ice. Very refreshing. Very nice. Nice and thick like a milkshake. Mmm. Okay. Okay. Well. I guess that’s me. That’s me done. Finishing up on this mango smoothie. Delicious. So thick. Oh, this reminds me of like a McDonalds milkshake where it’s so thick that you have to just suck your absolute hardest. Oh, fantastic. Right, gonna get out of here. Head for the upstairs where there’s less people. Obviously, in Thailand pretty much anybody can afford this type of food to eat around here. And upstairs, Michael Kors and Christian Louboutin and all that, almost nobody can afford it. So it’s pretty empty. So I guess that’s where I’ll go, and if I can navigate my way through, I guess that’s where I’ll go and stroll around and enjoy my coconut milkshake. Milkshake? It’s a smoothie. Well that’s me from ICONSIAM. Hopefully it was as enjoyable for you as it was for me. I will see you on the next video.