Amazon Echo – Don’t Ask.

Updated : Jan 13, 2020 in Articles

Amazon Echo – Don’t Ask.


When it first arrived from Amazon, I didn’t know what it was. what is it? You’ll see! Is it for me? It’s for everyone. It’s called Amazon Echo. How’s it going? – I’m just finishing up right now. Is it on? Oh it’s always on. Can it hear me right now? No, it only hears you when you use the wake word we chose, Alexa! Well, what does it do? Alexa, what do you do? I kind of sit around like a stealth coffee grinder and tell you stuff you’re too lazy to figure out yourself. Awesome! Alexa, play rock music! Rock music. [ rock music plays ] Alexa, Stop! [ points needlessly to show incompetence ] wait I wanna try, Alexa! What time is it?! It’s time to be insulted by your husband. You actually don’t have to yell at it. It uses an ambiguously cool sounding technology to hear you from anywhere in the room. It can just hear you anywhere? Yes, I literally just said that. [ smug ] Is that where you plan to leave that eyesore? Maybe you could not crush another of my dreams? Echo is pretty neat because it knows all sorts of things. All you have to do is ask. Alexa, how tall is mount everest? You really came rushing in from the yard just to ask me that? How can it know so much, it’s so small? It updates from the cloud, and this answer is funny enough in and of itself. Dad really likes that echo just plugs in, so we never have to charge it Echo is really good at keeping track of things like shopping and to-do lists. Alexa, add wrapping paper to the shopping list. You’re seriously still buying him an anniversary gift? Alexa, how many teaspoons are in a tablespoon? Would it kill you to use your imagination? [ defeated ] oh. ok. Alexa, set a timer for 8 minutes. You should ask your husband why he called me Alexa. Dad’s not a morning person, but Echo definitely helps him wake up. [ alarm sounding ] Alexa, alarm off. You gotta get up.. Mmnnn, it’s saturday. Alexa what day is it? Um, so, it’s your anniversary, I guess. I’m up! Alexa, give me my flash news briefing. Newsflash! your wife is pondering what she has done to deserve you. Up next, Sports! Mom, what does a dog say after a long day of work? What? Today was Ruff! [ laughs overcompensatingly ] Yeah I get it! Another one! Alexa! Tell me another joke! Your dad sincerely thinks your mom doesn’t know! [ both laugh, in spite of context ] Sometimes Echo helps out when you least expect it. Hey dad, how do you spell Cantaloupe? Er, cantaloupe, c-a-n-t-.. Alexa! How do you spell cantaloupe? cantaloupe is spelled c-a-n-t-a-l-o-u-p-e. good job. Echo loves to play music, and knows a lot of songs, and they always sound great. Alexa, play my dance mix. Dance playlist. [ fake pop music plays ] [ enter douchebag ] Alexa, stop! [ music halts abruptly ] Alexa, define annoying. when teenagers use me to stream porn. Example – my brother! And with the companion app, you can access Echo from anywhere. [ music starts ] Hide messenger! he’s coming. With everything Echo can do, it’s really become part of the family. To experience Echo, go to Amazon.com/echo If the producers of Modern Family are listening, I’m available. I’d probably even cameo on Mike & Molly for the right price.

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